A DEEP DIVE [A NEW TABLE]

Moment of transparency:

I lost my job a month ago today.

I can’t say that I didn’t see it coming, but nonetheless.. It stung a bit. The energy I was feeling was palpable; the premonition would not & did not go away. I could feel it coming in the air; an unshakeable & unbreakable hunch that kept building and building and building…

& then it happened.

Feelings of failure, disappointment and defeat rang loud, but were brief.

I’ve never really been a “model employee”, & this isn’t the first job that I’ve lost. Like the few others [lost], it wasn’t due to a lack of talent, skill, or capability. This time, after 2 decent (but useful) years of full-time employment--I fell victim to corporate politics & a systematic shit show; reminded yet again that everything isn’t for everyone. Sometimes, no matter how bad you want a seat at a particular table, you won’t get it. Maybe there’s not a seat available, or maybe those already occupying the table don’t want you there. Either way, that table just isn’t for you.

Most of us (then) end up doing one [or two] of three things:

-stay at the table we’re at until we can’t anymore,

-hop from table to table until we find the one most suitable for our needs,

or three:

-build a table from scratch.

I’ve exhausted myself of options one and two.

I had taken a stab at building a table once or twice before, but never followed through because of a certain level of contentment with whatever table I was occupying at the time. In December of last year, I decided that it was time to get the table built. No if’s, no ands… no talk, just action.

This time was different than the others, though. The model had changed, the blueprint was updated, and this particular table required a special type of team & skill set. This table wouldn’t be the foldable, by-the-fly type… but would be set up for long-term use. Steady, durable, sustainable and original.

“Hand-Crafted”

Over the last six months, I re-launched Thirty-Fifty: a life/style brand & collection of thoughts, concepts and hand-crafted accessories. The re-launch has consisted of constructing a website from scratch (with the help of a website host) as well as creating & curating original and engaging content (which includes but isn’t limited to written content, visual & graphic content, lifestyle & product photos, playlists, and of course… accessories). In addition to the tasks just mentioned, there’s brand management, bookkeeping, strategic marketing, visual design, social media marketing, shipping and a non-stop list of things that will pop up at some point or another.

I lost my job four weeks ago today; & in those four weeks I have released new content, redesigned the website, designed & published our first physical lookbook, and showcased my work in the company of some amazing artists at the House of Blues. I tapped into an additional power source to fuel my creative & entrepreneurial endeavors, and I feel pretty damn good about it. There’s a lesson to be learned with every loss, & that’s personally or professionally.

The takeaway from this “loss”: everything isn’t for everyone, and everything happens for a reason. Sometimes there isn’t a spot for you at the table you want or deserve. If that’s the case, consider building your own. I’m a month in, and it’s been as fulfilling as its been frightening. Time is now available for me to delve deeper into my true passion and utilize my TEAM (time, energy, ambition and motivation) to their full capacity. I can only imagine what the next 30 days will look like… but I’ll loop back around with you all in a few months with an update on how things have been. In the meantime, I’m going for a deep dive.

Jamal Malik